Well, my 3 or 4 faithful readers, it has been quite a while huh? My last blog post was on April 28th, just before my world really started to shake. I was anticipating a very busy weekend, as we had several birthday parties (2 for Pumpkin's friends and 1 family member's first birthday). My Dad's birthday was May 1st, he turned 48. My birthday was the 3rd, the day my Dad graduated from Florida State University with a degree in Elementary Education. Little did I know that my busy weekend would suddenly seem uneventful on Monday morning. My mom called me quite early that morning to tell me my dad wasn't breathing. After a whirlwind of events that seemed to go in slow motion at the time, I was standing in a hallway of the emergency room hearing the news: my Daddy died.
Since that morning things have seems in many ways to spiral out of control. Some good, some bad-but every piece out of my control. I have received more and more news lately that I just couldn't swallow. I have had so many ups and downs that I wonder if my emotions will ever return to a normal track...or if I will forever live on this emotional rollercoaster. I thought this might be a good time to update my blog page too. Do you like it? Tulips are my favorite flower...one of many I should say. And since I have more than 2 sweet girls now, my old titles were suddenly inappropriate. With that said....
I now have a beautiful daughter, "Peanut", born August 8th at 4:35 p.m. weighing 7lbs 14oz. She is a sweet baby, with quite a tolerance for the noise this household brings. She has darker hair than my other two, and dark eyes that we still are waiting to determine the color. For now, they remind me of my dad, which couldn't be more appropriate. I can only hope he passed that gene onto her, as well as perhaps a use for those long fingers she has-piano player maybe? Anyway. Even through the process of labor, and bringing a new baby home to be with her big sisters, life is so foggy right now. I have such a numbness regarding things that use to really resonate with me, and such vividly sharp emotions about some things that I'd rather not have such sensitivity toward. So needless to say, this blogging thing has seemed like a dangerous channel for me for a while. So many raw wounds...so many forbidden topics right now. So bear with me...as it may come in pieces for a while. I don't know how long it will take or if it will happen anytime in the next year even, but I'm trying! For starters...here's a list of simple joys. Hope it makes you smile!
Singing my girls to sleep, holding Peanut while sitting between the oldest two, and noticing a little smile slowly spread across her face as she hears my voice and studies my face.
Cupcake leaning over her baby sister who she is infatuated with, and watching her kiss her with a slobbery open mouth, and hearing those belly laughs escape, as she is soooo proud of herself!
Pumpkin talking to Peanut like a little momma-or telling me "she sure is a pretty little baby".
Watching my husband constantly growing to be the best he can be at everything inside these walls. He is more than I could have asked for or dreamt about, supporting me and my crazy emotions, busy chore lists, and wild little girls!
Sitting beside my baby brother in church last Sunday and wishing I could turn up the volume on my left ear to hear him sing. Praying that he'll keep singing...he sounds so much like our Dad.
Listening to Pumpkin sing almost EVERY word to almost EVERY song on the local Christan radio station.
Watching Pumpkin and Cupcake dance and spin to the music in our living room and falling down laughing.
Baking cakes with Pumpkin, and hearing her say how much she loves to bake with me.
Finally discovering what some of Cupcake's "mystery sounds" are....tucka-tucka-tucka-tucka as she grabs the bottom of her shirt to scratch her belly: "tickle tickle tickle".
The radio station people that choose the songs to play apparently are just as mesmerized with Mac Powell's voice as I am! And that's a lot.....okay maybe they aren't quite as bad as me...but still they play his songs a lot!
Well, it's a start. Hope you have a great week...and a happy Sunday!!!
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